Look, Jonathan Lipnicki, the adorably obnoxious little kid from Jerry Maguire is all growed up and discovered the gym! Aww little man with the speech impediment, that's so cute . . . you grew some muscles. Let me level with you. You can look at the camera with a really hard and determined look. You can be sweaty and ripped and have a randomly-located Star of David Tattoo . . .
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| Take me seriously . . . look, I'm sweaty and intense! |
But you will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be the tiny little kid, with the spiky hair, who played opposite the creepiest cult member of our time -- before he "married" his stepford wife and "had" (hatched? grew hydroponically?) a child. In fact, you can look like the above guy, but this is what I really see:
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| D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds? |
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