Kleenex, Puffs and Interior Design

So I have an ongoing argument with my Mom over several things that are Kleenex-related. The first raging debate is whether Puffs are superior to Kleenex. The reactionary that I am, I prefer Kleenex as the old-school option. I feel like Puffs is an arrogant upstart to the sneeze and cold industry. My Mom believes that Puffs are softer, thicker, less dusty, and all around superior. This is not to say that I dislike Puffs but my irrational brand loyalty leads me back to Kimberly-Clark every time.

Oh Puffs, why do you taunt me with your bright plumage?

Two quick asides: 

Aside 1: Kimberly-Clark is not a woman, as I assumed for a number of years, but is a trade name of a company begun by several men, among them two men named John Kimberly and Charles Clark.


Aside 2: The tissue related matter that my Mom and I completely agree upon is the grossness of the reusable handkerchief. I understand that in the old days tissue wasn't available in the same way it is now. I also understand that reusable tissues may be environmentally responsible, and occasionally look fairly classy.  But really? Consider that you are carrying around a non-disposable cloth full of germs. No wonder illness was so much more prevalent in the old days. Ick.

Okay back to my regularly scheduled rant. Acknowledging that Kleenex and Puffs can't survive broadside warfare -- it would be mutually assured destruction as their strengths and weaknesses are fairly even -- I have been searching for high ground in the "specialty tissue" market. Tissues "con locion" are not a big hit in my household. Though I acknowledge that they soothe my sore nose when I have a cold, the novelty wears off when you realize that you might as well be blowing your nose on wax paper. They lack the single property that makes them useful when you have a cold: absorption.

Moving past lotion infused tissues I tried the menthol Kleenexes that used to be available. I enjoyed them as I deeply enjoy the bracing scent of menthol, particularly when I'm sick, but there was no real use for them.  I have not spotted these in a long time and suspect that everyone else felt the same way about their novelty but lack of any real purpose -- kind of like popcorn flavored jelly beans which solely exist so that you think "wow this really tastes like popcorn" but lacks all the real enjoyability of real popcorn (heat, salt, light fluffiness, the need for a whole spool of floss afterward). (Note: Puffs too has a menthol tissue co-branded with Vicks of Vapo-Rub fame).

Mmm, minty!

Then I tried the Anti-Viral Kleenexes. This was a rousing success! Mom loves them, as do I, though I suspect that the little blue dotted tissues actually don't do much. Chalk that up as one point for Kleenex. The one downside is that if you ever end up tasting the Kleenex it tastes really odd, in kind of a "is this okay for me, or shall I call poison control" way.

This box pattern actually has a name: "looking glass, azure." Who knew?

My most recent foray into the world of exotic tissues has been Kleenex's Cool Touch tissues, which are actually cold to the touch. The novelty factor is quite high, but there is something so vaguely unsettling about having the Kleenex actually be cold that it overshadows the wonder of how they create refrigerated tissues. I have not yet had a cold (*knock wood*) while in possession of these tissues, so I can't judge whether or not they would be a wonderful relief to an overused nose. Using them is like when you put on freshly washed clothes that haven't yet dried all the way (what? you're not perpetually dashing out the door because you are late? you have dry clothes? who ARE you?). You put them on and they feel a little refreshing, but then they just make you cold and uncomfortable.

Like blowing your nose into a Peppermint Patty . . . exhilarating and slightly awkward.

I think the great tissue battle is going to come to a stalemate. While admittedly Kleenex has some great "fancy" tissues. Puffs has cornered the market in softness and a significantly reduced lint-factor. So there Mom and I sit, blowing our noses into our respective tissues while staking out our respective ground on either side of the tissue DMZ.

There is one thing for certain, on Mom's side of the tissue-DMZ all the boxes are color coordinated. I personally don't see your choice of cold and allergy accoutrement as a personal fashion statement, but Mom will purchase boxes of Puffs based on whether or not they will clash with a room's colors. For my money, one white tissue is the same as another (but don't you dare give me one of those horrid peach or blue tissues), regardless of whether the box has a vague paisley pattern or large, old-lady wallpaper flowers. However, like the Kleenex/Puffs debate, I can't seem to gain any high ground so I suppose I'll just hole up with my freezing cold Kleenex and wait for an upstart challenger to the tissue-throne to come along and solve all our problems.